


choke yourself to sleep

by crisp rice (popatochispfren)



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Nightmares, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Drabble, Light Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm, also light references to murder, basically bucky chokes himself, but not in a kinky way, cause you know, first time posting anything marvel related, not used to writing bucky things yet because i barely finished watching the movies he's in, oh well, sfw, so this is probably bad, will do more in the future c:, winter soldier things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28923078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popatochispfren/pseuds/crisp%20rice
Summary: in which bucky has a nightmare
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Kudos: 7
Collections: marvel bits





	choke yourself to sleep

**Author's Note:**

> first time posting anything for bucky, please be kind c:

_The cold felt like nothing now, but he knew of its presence from the sound of the wind howling through the frozen tundra, blowing snow into the air and obscuring his view of the red. Red, how it stood out from the pale greys of the snow. It didn’t matter that icy shards found their way into his widened eyes, it was impossible to take them off of the red. So much red._

_Nothing else could be heard but the forceful winds whipping about, and the drumming beating of his heart. It made the scene ingrain itself all the deeper into his mind. Red, crimson blood. It went everywhere, smearing the snow, sticking to his hands, clothes, face like some parasite he could never get rid of. No matter how hard he tried, it would always remain, even after returning from the missions again and again._

_He could’ve sworn he still heard their screaming in the howling winds._

Awaking with a start, his hands immediately flew to his temple, as if to contain whatever memories left from escaping his skull. His eyes were stretched wider than ever, releasing a steady stream of tears down his cheeks. He couldn’t think of anything other than those deserts of snow, filled with nothing but the bodies buried under all the white. 

It was hard to regain control of himself when he could hardly collect his thoughts together, much less remember where he was. All he could feel was the freezing cool of his metal arm by his side, it reminded him further of the cold. His ragged breathing did little to ease his nerves either.

Nor did those footsteps. Footsteps coming down the hall.

He froze.




Steve could’ve sworn he heard something. But by now it was difficult to recall, it was too late to focus on much of anything anymore. He was ready to sleep now with some tea to ease his nerves, yet he still paused in front of the door. Bucky’s door. 

He should be asleep by now, unless he had more nightmares again. But he couldn’t hear anything anymore.

Did he imagine it?

  
  





Bucky had his metal hand around his throat, not trusting himself to have stayed quiet otherwise. He knew they were standing outside his door waiting. He knew if they heard something they would come in because he was awake.

And god was he terrified of getting hurt again.

His vision started darkening in the corners, but he didn’t relent. If he let go now, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from gasping for breath. He couldn’t risk it. It was a one way ticket to damnation and _he couldn’t risk it._

  
  


Bucky doesn’t remember the next morning if he heard the footsteps of them leaving or if he passed out before it. All he could hope for was that his Henley covered the bruising on his neck. He couldn’t worry Steve again.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm planning on continuing this eventually, but for now, have this little drabble


End file.
